For those of you that haven’t heard, I’ve got a little sister, and she’s a pretty neat person. She’s also very thoughtful and it’s been inspiring to see her grow in her faith (and just as a lovely little person), and I asked her to write a guest post for us. So joining us this week is my sister, Michaela! Enjoy her post! =)
I have almost always had issues trusting. I’m not quite sure why, although I’d love to know. But lately, I’ve had some trust issues that I just couldn’t afford. In the recent months, I was diagnosed with gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), also known as acid reflux.
If you had mentioned acid reflux to me last year, I would have thought “Oh, just heartburn. No biggie.” But now I would think “SAY WHAT?! ACID REFLUX?! RUN FOR THE SHELTERS!” I have pretty much always had stomach issues, but this is one that truly tested my trust in God.
My first acid reflux attack was fairly severe. It took me almost 2 weeks to get over, mainly because I didn’t know what it was. I thought it was simply indigestion. I will never forget my first attack. Why? Because I had no idea, whatsoever, what was happening to me. I was experiencing pain I never felt, I was facing my ex-biggest fear, and through all of it, I had to fake a smile because we had family over, and I didn’t want to mess up their time. I wasn’t even at home, I was at a hotel, and had to sit through a 4 hour car ride. Let me tell you, it was hard.
While I was going through all of that, I didn’t realize what was wrong with me and certainly not to what degree. I was telling myself, “I’m going to trust God to get me through this”. Was I believing it? In a way, yes. But these things kept happening. I kept getting the attacks, but they weren’t lasting as long, maybe closer to 4 days. I was missing a lot of school and it was putting a lot of emotional strain on me. I didn’t understand why this was happening to me and why God was putting me through this. I was pleading with Him to help me and stop this awful pain. I would always say I would trust him but it was so hard. Each attack, I tried to trust Him more and more, and I did. Why? Because I had nowhere else to turn. My parents couldn’t give me answers, my sister couldn’t give me answers. No one had answers! No one but God was able to comfort me.
Around March I finally made it to the doctors, as my parents were getting concerned with the attacks coming more frequently and just as severely. My doctor diagnosed me with GERD and I felt so many emotions. I felt incredibly relieved, “FINALLY! Someone knows what’s wrong with me!”, and then, it hit. I was terrified. All the facts he told me, hit hard, no more popsicles (my ex-favorite dessert), no more foods I loved so dearly, no more this, no more that. I have had to give up so much. While it’s made me really healthy, I’m still young, I still wanna eat these things I’ve been forced to give up! It’s right now that I need to trust God even more to get me through all this. I know most of the facts, but I need to apply them and trust that God will give me willpower and strength to keep going.
I still get GERD attacks, but they aren’t nearly as severe and I’m learning how to stop them. This doesn’t mean that I still don’t have a little voice in the back of my head wondering why, but it does mean that I am trusting God more than I ever thought I would, because while people on Earth are great, they don’t always have the answers or comfort you need. God always does. And He is always the way to turn.