Zoooom! Or so it feels.
Well.
2011 wasted no time in finishing itself up quickly and hurrying to curtain. I keep marveling at how quickly time is passing. With several friends already graduated, and some even engaged or married, it’s still hard to believe that it’s all happened, much less that it’s all happened so fast.
When my mind finally stops spinning (or at least slows down), I find myself wondering where I fit into all of this. So, God, am I on track? Should I have done X by now? What’s coming next? Is there anyway I can see some sort of timeline, or…
Multiple times, I’ve just sat back and said out loud, “God, I have no idea of what’s going on.”
I know what I want. I know what I’ve prayed and asked God for, and I know some things about God. I know that He loves me, that He’s perfect, that He’s saved me, that He empowers me, that He’s just, that He knows what’s coming next, and that He’ll never leave me, among other things.
But I have yet to know what my personal timeline is, and I’ve got a good hunch that I’m not going to see one except in retrospect.
So 2012 and all of the changes and potential dreams it brings are rushing in. I’m just a girl clinging to her Heavenly Daddy’s hand and trying (but definitely failing right now) to walk confidently forward. Sometimes I’m stubbornly digging in my heels but being dragged along anyway. Sometimes as I’m being dragged, I’m just sitting back and sobbing, trying to grasp at things I’m leaving behind but being pressed forward nonetheless. Sometimes- rarely- I’m right in stride, with a “BRING IT” look on my face.
No matter what your attitude is toward the new year, or change in general, it’s my prayer that we can embrace the future with joy and excitement. We know where we are now, and we know the very end of the story, but we’ve little clue of what happens between the two. I’m glad Someone is much more aware. As Psalm 146 says, “Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD their God. He is the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them- He remains faithful forever.”
I feel that I should add here that I don’t think we need to just helplessly float along until the end, saying we have no control anyway. We’ve got a lot of tasks to do. We’re called to love, serve, and represent Christ. We’re called to pursue our spiritual gifts. We’re told to love those around us and spread the gospel.
Oh, Lord, please help us to make the most of this time that You’ve given us, whether we’re overwhelmingly aware of a rush of changes or not. Thank You for Your word and the truths that we find there of Your love and provision, and please continue to remind us of these things. Thank You for bringing us through this year, and Your will be done in the one to come.
Happy New Year, everyone!
p.s. For less stream-of-consciousness-based “years’ end” posts, or just to see my previous thoughts, feel free to read the last December posts from 2009 and 2010. =)
